Batman vs A Super Dangerous Duo
by Windrises
Summary: The Joker and Lex Luthor team up and find out Batman's secret identity.


Note: The Batman and Superman franchises are owned by DC and Warner Bros. This story is dedicated to Jerry Siegel, Joe Shuster, Bill Finger, Adam West, and all of the wonderful people who have helped the Batman and Superman franchises.

Batman went to the police station's rooftop and asked "What's going on?"

Commissioner Gordon said "The Joker broke out of Arkham Asylum."

Batman asked "Do you know where he is now?"

Commissioner Gordon said "The police weren't able to get to him, but they did see him near some business buildings."

Batman went to the Bat Cave and started doing research on the business buildings in Gotham. Batman said "According to this article Lex Luthor is working on some business deals in Gotham. I think that he's working with the Joker."

Alfred Pennyworth asked "What are those two brats trying to do this time?"

Batman said "Those two are always trying to do something evil. I promise that I'll find out what they're doing and stop them."

Meanwhile Lex Luthor and the Joker were in Lex's new business building. Lex Luthor said "I know how to take over Gotham, but I'll need a little help from you Mr. Joker. I need you to find out Batman's real name."

The Joker replied "But if I know who he is the fun game of not knowing everything will be ruined. It'll make my future fights with Batman less thrilling."

Lex said "But if you find out who Batman is we can have him arrested for being a vigilante."

The Joker thought about it and responded "That sounds like too much to reject to. I'll join in on your silly plan."

Lex said "I made a new device that'll make it easy for you to find out Batman's secret identity." Lex pointed to a purple ray and said "This ray can get rid of things by pressing a button. If you use the ray on Batman's mask it'll go away. If I tried to do that to Batman I could get in trouble, but you're already Gotham's most wanted criminal so it won't hurt your record." Lex handed the purple ray to the Joker.

Batman was hanging out at random places in Gotham to find the Joker. Suddenly Superman showed up. Batman asked "Why are you in Gotham?"

Superman said "Lex Luthor's in the city. Since he and the Joker are free from prison I assumed you could use some help."

Batman said "I never need help to protect Gotham. You should go back to your city."

Superman replied "I know that you're really good at protecting this city, but I think we should work together this time."

Batman said "You probably have crimes to take of where you live."

Superman's cell phone rang. He answered it and asked "What's going on?"

A woman said "My cat's stuck in the tree for the second time this week."

Superman said "I'll save Eva again Ms. Marnie."

Batman asked "You know the name of a random woman and her cat?"

Superman said "That cat gets stuck in a tree several times a month."

Batman said "Well you better take care of that mildly important mission."

Superman replied "If you need my help call me." Superman started flying back to his city to save the cat.

A few minutes later the Joker was running around the city with the purple ray. The Joker said "I'm going to win a award for being the evilest clown ever." He did a evil laugh.

Detective Bullock saw the Joker and said "I'm sorry Mr. Joker, but I need to arrest you."

The Joker said "It's nice of you to feel sorry about it."

Detective Bullock replied "I'm a really kind guy."

The Joker said "I'm going to test out the ray on you." The Joker used the ray to make Detective Bullock's badge disappear.

Detective Bullock replied "I didn't care much about that absurd badge."

Batman found the Joker and ran up to him. Batman said "I'm going to make sure that you stay in Arkham Asylum for the next decade. In fact I hope you're in there for two decades."

The Joker replied "Even the Clock King doesn't have that much time. I'm going to win this battle Batman."

Batman said "Yeah right. You're the clown prince of failures."

The Joker use the purple ray on Batman's mask which made the mask disappear. The Joker looked at Batman's face and found out that he was Bruce Wayne.

Batman said "Give me my mask back you sneaky person."

The Joker replied "I know that you're Bruce Wayne. A millionaire super hero is a rich idea. I guess I was too broke to realize it." The Joker did a evil laugh.

Batman asked "Why did you want to find out who I am?"

The Joker said "Now the police will arrest Bruce Wayne for being a vigilante." The Joker did another evil laugh.

Detective Bullock put handcuffs on maskless Batman and said "I'm taking you to Arkham Asylum." Detective Bullock grabbed Batman and threw him into his police car. He drove to Arkham Asylum and dropped off Batman.

The Joker reported to Lex Luthor about what happened. The Joker asked "Are you proud of me Mr. Luthor?"

Lex said "I sure am. I didn't think that Batman could be defeated that easily."

The Joker asked "What's your next plan?"

Lex said "I'll work on some illegal business deals. They'll be too clever and sneaky for the police to figure them out Thankfully Batman is arrested so he can't stop me."

Meanwhile Batman was in Arkham Asylum. He grabbed a spare mask out of his utility belt to wear. He said "I think I know how to escape this silly place. Please come here guard!"

One of the guards walked up to the cell Batman was in and asked "What do you need dude?"

Batman said "This cell is pretty uncomfortable. If you opened the cell door a little I would feel much better."

The guard replied "Okay dude." The guard opened the cell door.

Batman walked out of the cell and started running out of Arkham Asylum. He said "This place better get high quality guards next time."

The guard said "You need to go back into your cell dude."

Batman knocked the guard to the ground and said "I'm sorry, but I need to save my city."

Since Batman was in Arkham Asylum Lex Luthor and the Joker went to Bruce Wayne's mansion to steal the money. Lex asked "Does Mr. Wayne have any security guards?"

Alfred Pennyworth said "I'm the only guard." The Joker beat up Alfred and locked him the broom closet.

Lex said "Finding out where the money is would be hard for a moderately smart person. Thankfully I'm one of the most brilliant criminals ever." It only took Lex a few minutes to find out where Bruce Wayne's money was.

The Joker said "I'm going to win a award for being the richest clown ever." The Joker did a evil laugh.

Superman went back to Gotham and asked "Do you need help?"

Batman said "Yeah. We need to stop the Joker and Lex Luthor."

Batman and Superman went into Bruce Wayne's mansion. Batman said "You criminals aren't going to get any of the money. You're going to spend decades being broke in prison."

Lex replied "Knowing your secret identity already makes us rich. We'll bribe the police by telling them who you truly are."

Superman said "We're going to defeat you troublemakers."

The Joker replied "What a super boring comeback. Being witty isn't one of your super powers." The Joker did a evil laugh.

Superman used his strength to beat up Lex Luthor and the Joker. They tried to fight back, but they gave up after a few minutes of action.

Batman said "I try to avoid teaming up with you, because you hog up all the fighting."

Superman replied "I'm sorry."

Lex said "We're excited for the police to come so we can tell them your secret identity."

Superman said "I know how to save Batman's secret identity. I have a new super power that can erase peoples' knowledge about secret identities." Superman used his new super power which made Lex and the Joker not know Batman's secret identity anymore. After Detective Bullock came to pick up Lex and the Joker Superman used his super power so that Detective Bullock also wouldn't know that Batman is Bruce Wayne anymore.

Batman said "You're more helpful than I thought Superman."

Superman replied "Thank you Batman." Superman's cell phone rang.

Ms. Marnie said "My cat's stuck in the tree again."

Superman replied "I'll save Eva again." Superman started flying back to the tree.


End file.
